Slowing Down

It has been a long time since I have posted and I had a request from one of my friends to write a post.

Life has been so crazy lately. It seems like I have been going 100 miles an hour just trying to make it through this semester.  Just trying to make it through my days so I can go home for break. Just trying to make it through the year so I can student teach. Just making it through college so I can graduate. Just making it through graduation so I can get married. I was just going through each day, taking everything for granted along the way without thinking about it. I have been so focussed on the future that I haven't been enjoying each individual day. My MG rears its head on certain days so I try even harder to get through those days quickly. Until...

Sunday November 16th. Yesterday. I got into a car accident. I was on Highway 61, coming home from meeting my beautiful God daughter, LilyAnna Jo. I was cruising along when all of a sudden my back door started to come open. I quickly pulled off onto a side road that had not been salted. I closed my door, got back into the car and was going to get back on to 61. There was a hill that I needed to get up but my tires were spinning. I gave it a little more gas and went flying over the hill. At the bottom of the hill was a sharp corner and straight ahead was a guardrail. I hit the guardrail going about 35. I spun on the ice. As I was heading straight for it I thought I was going over the ledge. It was a makeshift guardrail with wooden posts and a metal cable. In my mind I was thinking "there is no way this is going to stop me." As I was barreling down the hill towards the guardrail, knowing I was going to hit it, I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes because I thought I was going to either flip my car or go through the railing. I closed my eyes and saw my entire life flash in about five seconds. When I stopped, I hit my head very hard on the window. The sound it made when it hit the glass I will never forget. I got out of my car to see that I was about an inch from going over. The guardrail was broken. I was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't believe I had made it through that and didn't go over. According to physics and the way I was going, I should have smashed through that cable. I snapped it, but it stopped me. God stopped me. If I would have gone down, no one would have seen me down there as it wasn't on a main road.

As I was laying in bed last night I couldn't help but think, this morning when I said "I love you," to my mom, to my sister, and to Nathan, it could have been the last time. Life can change in a moment. Looking back, God was the reason I did not go over. He wasn't ready for me yet. He knew I couldn't afford a new car and I still have a purpose here on this earth. That is why I stopped. It was his way of saying, "Alyssa, slow down. Enjoy each day, every moment, live in the present." God has plans for my future and I realized that I was focussing so far out in time that I wasn't living in the moment. I was just getting through my days and fighting with MG along the way.

I had never been more relieved to hear my moms voice when I called her. She came down to Winona and my friends took me to the ER. I have a concussion and whiplash along with soreness everywhere but I also have my life. I have no broken bones. I don't have a broken neck and I do not have any stitches. It could have been so much worse. I have a headache, but again, I have my life. A life that I love, and a life that I will live. One day at a time. I will slow down, I will enjoy every moment, I will be thankful for the small things, I will tell others I love them, I will be the best that I can be and I will take my time in the tasks that I am given to complete. We are all given a length of time that we are meant to be here on this earth. My time wasn't up yet and I was going too fast. Too fast through life and too fast through the motions. I am thankful for so many things.

Thank you to the Blahniks for taking care of me, for Katie and Siham for coming to get me, to my loving family, to Nathan and his family, and to everyone who has been praying.


Life happens fast and can change in the blink of an eye. Slow down. Enjoy it. Take nothing for granted, live in the moment. Tomorrow will come but today is the only chance that you have to live for today. It may be your last "today".  Thank God for each and every "today" and enjoy all that you're given. Slow down. Enjoy the ride.

Reality Check

Okay so I know it has been like six months since I have posted anything, but life has been crazy! Whose isn't?! =)

I just recently finished my sophomore year which was insane because I was convinced finals would kill me. They didn't =). That came along with a lot of praying, studying and of course, crossing fingers. However, I did finish school and it is now summer =) I work quite a bit at Foursquare daycare and I love every minute of it. My staff is amazing and so supportive of everything that has been going on in life. They are like my second family. This job is definitely a Godsend.

As for health related issues, things have not been going so well. My Myasthenia Gravis has really been trying to kick me these last six months. I still take medicine every three hours to manage symptoms but that really does nothing as far as the progression of my disease. I started a treatment two weeks ago, cell infusions, that were supposed to knock out the bad cells in my body. That was expected to sustain my life for awhile. However, we had to stop halfway through the treatment because of high fevers and tremendous pain. We determined that night that I had developed Aseptic Meningitis which is a swelling of the brain and spinal chord. It was excruciating. I was in and out of the hospital the next few days. Because of my MG there is not a whole lot they can give me for pain. The prayers I received were wonderful, they helped a lot. My work was super understanding as well. Again, God works out the details.
As far as treatment goes now, there are not really a whole lot of options left. They are going to make a steroid for me, yes make ($$$) a steroid from whats missing in the contents of my blood to see if that will help.
We do not really know what the future holds in store for me, but thankfully God does. My doctor just told me to live one day at a time and to enjoy everything to the fullest and I intend to do that =). Even though it is really hard and physically painful sometimes, I really do enjoy my life. I thank God for everything he has carried me through.
My friends and family have been absolutely wonderful. I have some really great friends who are here for me everyday and encourage me from the second I wake up all the way until I go to sleep. My parents are wonderful as well. This is a very scary journey and each step is unknown, but it brings me unspeakable peace to know that I am not taking those steps alone. So thank you soooooo much to Kayla who is here for me every single day, Kacie who sat with me when I was so sick, Nathan and Cassie who came to my treatments and to my parents who believe in me and love me no matter what the doctor says is going to happen.
My eyes have really been opened to a new appreciation for my life. I have really learned just how fragile it is and how close I have come to losing it so many times. It is very scary to be 20 years old and to have to think about things that 70/80 year olds do on a daily basis but whenever God calls me I will be ready. Until then, I will keep fighting every day here and will keep going as long as I can =) I intend to stay in school until I can't anymore, my doctor would prefer me to not go back but I am 100% determined to be a teacher. If not be one, at least accomplish graduating with my degree. SO I will go as long as I can =)

SO with that being said, I just will continue to hold my head high. Just going to keep living life and praising Jesus with everything I have in me. I was given this life for a reason, and I choose to be blessed. <3

Love you all so much, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the continued prayers, support and love. My family and I really appreciate it all.
God Bless <3
       ~Alyssa

A year in the life

Oh my goodness, it has been three months since I have written a blog. Life has been extremely busy as it usually is. I can hardly believe it is 2013!! What a crazy year it has been. There were a lot of big days in my life that happened this year.
December 19th 2011(end of last year I know) - Myasthenia Gravis diagnosis
January 2nd 2012- the 1st tumor was found in my chest
February - Met the most amazing best friend I could ever have
April 29th- I was baptized
May 8th- Had open heart surgery to remove the tumor. During surgery they found a second one.
August 16th- Went back to Winona for my Sophomore year.
September- Started helping the most amazing family with 5 beautiful children who continue to bring such incredible joy to my life.
October- Met my other best friend who is such a blessing.
November-Tumor free for 6 months!! =)
December- Started working at Foursquare daycare with some of the most precious children. I am sad to leave them to go back to school, but will be home again in the summer to work with them.

Throughout every month there were trials but  my faith has continued to grow. This year was the scariest year of my life. I grew so much closer to God because I put every ounce of my trust in him. I could not have made it through this year without God, my loving and supportive family, Nathan, and some very very special friends who I hold very close to my heart.

This year I have several new goals, but the biggest one is to remain strong in my faith and to keep God as my number one. I want to live every day to please him. I am trusting in him completely to guide me through the challenges that I will face.

I pray that everyone has a safe, happy and blessed 2013

Love you all soo much!!!

Life Lately

Since I have not posted in almost two months, I think it's time!! Life has been busy as usual and I have been going non stop. I apologize to my grandmas who always look for a new post, well here ya go!!

What have I been up to lately? Studying like crazy. I have many obligations to fulfill before applying to the WSU education program in the spring. There are a lot of requirements, and it is a pretty strict process where not everyone gets in.
I have been very involved in church this year which has been absolutely wonderful. I have been loving every minute of it! I co-lead a Bible study on Tuesday nights and I have an amazing group of girls that come so it has been a huge blessing!!! I am on the prayer team at church which has also been wonderful. Last weekend I went with our college ministry on the fall retreat called The Gathering. It was an awesome time full of worship and fellowship. God revealed some pretty cool things to me about my future and some different plans which I will update more on in the future (because I am already so great at updating my blog the way it is now, I know). God has been so unbelievably faithful during my time at Winona. It constantly amazes me at how much he loves me even though I do not deserve it at all. No matter what we do in life, God will still always love us and forgive us if we ask him to. I love him with all of my being.
Whenever I share what I have gone through in my life people ask me time and again,"Alyssa how do you do it?" Every time my answer is the same. I don't, God does. He directs me, helps me, heals me, encourages me, lifts me up, forgives me, and gives me hope for the future. Thats how. There is no other explanation as to how I made it this far because without him I would not have.

This last week I started helping a family from church with 5 children. This past Monday was my first time, but it was so incredibly amazing to be with them. They have some of the most beautiful children I have ever seen and they are one of those families that are just such a joy to be around. It has been such a blessing already and I just started!! How lucky am I?! =)

I went home this weekend and I got to spend time with my mom and sister which is always wonderful. I love being home. It is always a nice refresher. There are few greater things in this world than hugs from mom!!

This post jumps around a lot and I apologize. I guess I should update more so I do not have to make these so long!!!
On Tuesdays I am continuing to mentor a 7th grade girl who struggles in school and I love it. I was with her last year and it has been so nice to see the improvements! On Thursdays I work at an after school program for kids in low income housing. Every week it is an eye opener. These children have a lot of behavior issues, but they just need to be loved. Going there is often times the highlight of my week but very challenging at time. It feels good to know that I can show them that I care.

Well, thats about all for now. Life is busy, but I just try to live everyday to the fullest and serve, honor and glorify God with all of my being. I am trying to live my life to fulfill the purpose he has for me. I do not know what that is yet, but I try the best I can to be the best I can be.

Thanks so much for reading this!! I love you all so much!

Stay healthy and warm! Try to avoid the icky flu bugs going around.
God bless <3

The new normal

It has been a week since one of the most beautiful girls in my life danced up to Jesus. Kari was insanely beautiful, smart, loving, wonderful and just about every other positive word you can imagine, that was our Kari. She will forever be remembered for her beautiful smile, laugh and acceptingness of others. She had one of the brightest spirits of anyone I know. Everyone who knew her, loved her. Kari not a day goes by when I do not think of you at least 10 times. I pray right now that your family is finding peace in knowing that you are watching over them. I love you sweet Kare Bear.

   

Being in Winona has been very tough this week as I have had to leave all of my friends who are together at home and all have each other, where I am here without them. I certainly am not alone though because I have my amazing heavenly father, my wonderful Winona friends who have been extremely supportive in this, and of course kare bear watching over me. Sometimes I swear I can actually feel her with me. I can still hear her laugh in my head and that makes me smile. 

With classes starting tomorrow, so does the so called "new normal." I am trying my hardest to be happy and excited, but with all that has happened this week it has been hard. I just pray that God will guide me in whatever direction he wants to go. 

For all Kari's friends who are reading this, you guys are absolutely amazing, I couldn't believe how many came to her service. I know she was smiling down when she saw just how many people cared. God bless you all and I pray for you guys everyday as school will start soon.

The major lesson I have learned this week is to never ever forget to tell someone just how much you love them, because you never know when you're not going to have another chance. God bless you all and be with you this week. Smile because there is a new bright angel smiling down on you. We actually have 4 new angels and all from Lakeville. This week was a tough week for our town. Just remember how sacred life is. We all have different amounts of time on this earth. Always be ready for God. 

                                                                    Lakeville Angels

God bless

<3 Alyssa

Here Goes Nothing

Well, insomnia strikes again. Okay maybe I am just excited for my date with Nathan tomorrow and can't sleep. I really don't know when I'll have time to do another blog post before school starts in three days, so I figured I would just write one now while my eyes shoot open every time I try to lay down. =)

Yes I do move back to school in three days, crazy I know. There are a lot of mixed emotions when I think about going back to school. As excited as I am to see my friends and be independent again, it makes me a little sad at the thought of leaving my mom and sister as I have gotten so used to seeing them again. This year is going to be filled with exciting new things. I will hopefully be getting a job when I get down there, I have an internship and the elementary school, I will be co-leading a Bible study, and oh yeah the reason I am there! School!! There will be lots of studying going on. This  year I am really going to need to learn how to balance everything. Now if you have known me since I was little you'll know that I was pretty much born without any sort of coordination whatsoever, so any aspect of balance, even the literal meaning, comes hard to me. Now lets try to actually apply it to life. Yeah, that might be interesting. That is where I give it all to God. I know that he is sending me back to Winona State again this year for a reason, and as busy as I may be, it will all be to honor and glorify God.

Great News!!! I got an internship already for next summer!! God is so good =) He always provides for our needs if we completely believe and trust in him. 

Psalm 37:5 - Commit everything to the Lord, trust him and he will help you. 

I really am looking forward to this year as overwhelming as it will be. Last year was a complete eye opener. I went through a lot of changes this summer with my surgery and having ample amounts of time to reflect. Plus it will be my first year in college without a thymus gland!! (random fact, as you don't need your thymus gland to live a normal life, but I thought it was exciting). So here I go, getting ready to continue this chapter in life with God as my guide. I hope to be able to have a lot of really cool experiences in faith this year that I will be able to share <3 As for now, I go to college being ready to be used by God for whatever he has planned for me. 

Love you all so much <3

God Bless

Tears are Okay.

This is a different kind of post. I never try to sound like I am playing the "why me" card because that certainly is never the intention, very rarely do I feel sorry for myself. I try to never let it get to that because I know God is bringing me through this for a reason. With a progressive disease, at times it's hard not to feel discouraged in a society where everyone expects the highest of you, and expects strength because you have been so strong before. These last few days have been hard, as I have noticed increasing muscle weakness. I try not to get discouraged and stay positive. I am still on the lowest dose of medication so I have a long way to go before there is nothing left that can be done, and I am not in need of any weekly IV treatments yet. I am trusting in God that if it is his will, I will never have to get to that point. God has gotten me this far so I know he will just keep on providing. Whatever happens is all completely according to his plan and I have the highest amount of faith.

I did not write this post so that others will feel sorry for me. Please don't because I don't at all. This is the life I have been given for a very special reason. I may never know what that reason is, but this life comes with many blessings. Even though somedays I can hardly get out of bed, I have an amazing support system and most importantly I get to tell others about the love God has for them. The reason I did write this post is because I have had many people tell me recently that I am so strong, and I thank you all for that from the bottom of my heart, it means a lot and I give all the glory to God, but I do have bad days. Days where I get discouraged, feel like giving up, and hating everything about what I have been given. Those are the days where I draw closest to God. The days I need to realize all of the things I do have. Anyone who has a disease, or has had something bad happen to them will occasionally feel like life sucks. We all do sometimes. I look at those days as my "reality check" days. Sometimes I get a little too comfortable when things are going well and forget to give every single ounce of glory to God. The bad days are the days when I get my focus back on the one who's truly important.

One of my greatest friends reminded me lately that it IS okay to cry. We are only human. Life gets hard sometimes, but those are the times God is closest. It seems hard to believe because sometimes those are the days we feel he is the farthest away. He isn't, he's right there waiting for you to reach out to him.
One of my very favorite quotes is by Gordon B. Hinckley, "When life gets too hard to stand, kneel." Kneel and pray to our loving father who will raise you back up.


I love you all so much. Again, I don't ever want anyone to feel sorry for me, this is the life I was given and yes at times its hard, but I would not change it for the world.

God bless

-
Alyssa