Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Remembering Nana

Really been missing my nana a lot lately. I guess its because the holidays are approaching and she is not here for the first Christmas of my whole life. Its a little rough but I know she is here with me in spirit. It is also tough because she died before I graduated, and she really wanted to be there. She took me to my first day of Kindergarten. She was there for everything. I know she is watching over me now. She inspired me to be a special ed teacher from a very early age. She taught me that no matter how different people are, we love them just the same, because God made them very special. When I was little we used to talk to the ladies in her home who had special needs and she told me that I should love them even more =) she would also always tell me about her son Tommy who had downs syndrome. I never met him because he died before I was born. Her stories about him inspired me to become a special ed teacher. I loved him and felt like he was a part of my life. Nana died before I went to Winona, she passed away on Valentines day this year, but I know she is proud. Tommy's picture now sits on my desk at school. I will put it in my office someday as a constant reminder of why I started =). I wrote a poem for nana today and I would like to share it with you. Some of you may have seen it on Facebook, but I decided to share it here too. I hope you all have a blessed holiday, and remember all of the loved ones you have up in heaven with the Lord.


I wish Heaven had a phone,
So I could tell you to come home.
I miss you and I want to see you
To have you kiss my cheek
To have you hold me close
And to hear your soft voice speak


As the Holiday's approach,
They will not be the same,
but I will see you again,
when God calls my name. 


Almost a year you’ve been gone
It seems way too long
The memories that I have
Make it seem not so bad

The songs you used to sing
Still joy to me they bring
As I hear them in my head
I remember things you have said

You have taught me to grow
And for kindness to show
To everyone around me
For it will make them smile

You are missed by so many
And for those who didn’t know
I share your wonderful memories
Of how you helped me grow.

You made me who I am
By showing me the way
You taught me how to love
Everyone in every way




Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What a Week!

Wow seems like its been forever since I have entered in my blog, I have been so crazy busy!! It has definitely been non-stop since I have been home. I had my doctors appointment, which went fantastic, I won't say all that happened because all of you that read my blog have seen my Facebook. I will however post a link at the end of my blog if you want a better explanation of what I was diagnosed with. The article I found does a pretty good job of explaining it. Monday I had a CT scan of my chest, because 25% of people with MG have tumors on their thymus called Thymomas. They are usually benign, but can be cancerous. I am praying that I do not have that, otherwise they will need to crack open my chest bone to remove it. I should be getting the results here soon. Since Monday night I have been sick with the Flu. Last night between the hours of 7:30 ( when I went to bed because I couldn't stay awake) and 11:30, I woke up 14 times. I had super bad chills, and a 102.3 fever. Not fun. I am hoping that I am getting better, as I have been extremely weak. With MG its an overproduction of antibodies that attack your muscles, and when you are sick, your body has even more antibodies, so I am extremely weak. My poor mom who was up with me all night, had to help me just roll over. Between me being sick, and Ashley just getting her wisdom teeth out yesterday, my mom is how you would say very "frazzled." She's a trooper!

I have been praying a lot lately. Praising God for good news, and praying for no tumors on my chest. He is extremely faithful, and has a special plan for my life. I rely completely on him.

Thank you so much everyone for all of the kind words I have received, and thank you all for your
prayers!!

Here is a link explaining my new diagnosis

http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Myasthenia_gravis?open#.TuLneWlt8Kw.facebook
Copy and paste in your search bar.


Kind of a long entry.
Love you All!!! <3

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Short and Sweet

Today is officially my first day home for break, and what an adventure it has been. Tomorrow is my doctors appointment at 1:30 in the afternoon. Yes I am nervous but at the same time I am not. God already knows the results and he already has a plan for them. I am just giving it all completely to him. Finals went really well, I was proud of myself, and all of my studying paid off. 

I will update as soon as I find out more from the doctor. Love you all!! <3

Friday, December 2, 2011

Breaking Point

I was sitting on my bed tonight, studying for finals, and at approximately 11:00 I bursted into tears. I realized I was having a breakdown. Stress finally weighed in. I have had so much on my mind lately and I have been feeling like I am failing in things that I do, and I haven't been strong. I feel like I let myself down, but most importantly that I let God down. It took me a minute to realize that I really need to surrender everything to him and let him take care of it. It's way too much for someone to do on their own, and all to often I take on a lot more than I should. I feel like it was God's way of saying that he will take care of everything. I need to focus on my finals this week. I got a wonderful message today from a very sweet friend who said the exact same thing. That's exactly what I needed to hear, and it meant so much. I thank God for all of the blessings he has put in my life to get me through the hard times. I am trying hard not to think about next Friday. God already knows the results, and he already has a plan and has it under control. I can breathe easy in knowing that. God is our almighty savior and through him, all things are possible. My favorite bible verse is Phillipians 4:13 - I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. 
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6. "