The Contents of One's Heart

Hello my beautiful readers, yes again my usual "it's been awhile" phrase. I have been very busy lately. Recovery is going well, yesterday marked seven weeks since surgery. I am almost completely healed! Praise God =). I have thoroughly enjoyed all of my wonderful visitors!!! I am now able to leave home and go out and do things. It has been very nice because I was going stir crazy just being at home. I got to experience IKEA for the first time with Cassie and Brandon which was a blast =) but anything I do with them I thoroughly enjoy because I simply adore them. On Saturday I am going to a grad party and will then be in my hometown of Minocqua WI from Saturday until Tuesday, so I very much look forward to seeing friends that I have known since Kindergarten.

I just continue to be blessed by God. It has not been easy as more health problems are arising now that the chemistry of my body changes as my thymus gland is no longer in the picture. Thankfully its not as serious as it could have been. It is not related to my heart which is good. I just keep trusting in God through everything and he just keeps bringing me through all the trials because he knows the plan for me.
My friends have been extremely amazing! I don't quite know what I would have done without them these last few weeks as I have faced some personal challenges that God is helping me through. I thank God for my friends everyday. In life we are faced with many challenges, and fear of the unknown. That fear can be completely overwhelming if you do not give them all to God. It is tough at times but surrender your heart to God and you will no longer be afraid. That is how I went six months with not knowing if my tumor was cancerous or not <3. Psalm 27:1 says "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be  afraid?" Just remember that God is in control and he loves you more than you'll ever know!!

I love you all so much and thank you for your continued prayers and support!! I have definitely felt the prayers <3

Have a safe and happy 4th of July!!! *** <--- Fireworks =P

God bless you all <3
Much Love


-Alyssa

Through The Hands of A Surgeon

This post is going to be probably the most reflective, hard, happy, beautiful, post for me that I have done. This time in my life is where I have been the most scared, but the closest to God.

It all started about 6 years ago now when I started being unable to walk. It was a long process of going to see 24 doctors, 5 neurologists, a physical therapist, chiropractor and having countless MRI's, CT scans, EMG's, EEG's, and blood tests before figuring out on December 19th 2011 that I had a rare neuromuscular disorder know as Myasthenia Gravis. I have since been put on medicine that lessens the severity of the symptoms of this life altering disease. 

I had an appointment with my neurologist to have an MRI of my chest to check my lung strength because of my disease, and right after my church conference that I had been too, January 9th 2012 I learned that I had a pingpong ball size tumor attached to my thymus gland that was growing close to my heart. We had to make a decision, not knowing if it was cancerous or not and because of the location, it was impossible to biopsy. I made a decision that I was not going to worry about it, leave it completely in God's hands and that I would finish my freshman year at Winona State. With lots of prayers and support from family, friends and my church family at The Edge, I was comforted. I never really was scared at all because I had complete faith in God that he would take care of me and he already knew the outcome so there was no need for me to worry. 

May 8th - Surgery Day

We woke up at about 6 am as we needed to be at the hospital by 8. With me, my best friend Kayla who had driven 4 hours the night before to be there for me, and my mom, we headed to the hospital with my sister and her friend Emilee following behind us. We met my dad at the hospital. I was walking in the skyway to registration and the sky was absolutely beautiful. I was completely at peace. I saw my dad, hugged everyone, and headed back to get ready. While I was back there I had a few minutes to myself while the nurse was busy and thats when I had the clearest conversation with God that I had ever had in my life before. It was beautiful. Shortly after that the nurse brought my family back to say one last goodbye to Kayla and my sister before I went to surgery. It was very emotional for me as I hugged my best friend. It was so special to have her there. My mom and dad came to the Pre-Op room with me right until they took me back for surgery. I got my IV, kissed my parents goodbye and was wheeled down what seemed like a million different hallways. The lights were bright above my head and I was still whispering to Jesus. We finally got to the room and there were about 15 people in there waiting for me. It was a sea of blue. People dressed from head to toe in sterile gowns and masks. They put me on the bed and tucked me in. The nurse put a mask on my face to put me to sleep and I talked to Jesus until I couldn't remember talking to him anymore. 

I woke up about 3 hours later in lots of pain but I had made it =) I started talking to Jesus again. The nurses told me that the first person I was asking for when I got out of surgery was Kayla. That makes perfect sense to me =). Before I knew it, my family was by my side and Kayla was holding my hand. I don't remember much for a while after that. It was such an amazing blessing to have my family there by my side through every thing. I cannot even describe to you in words how it felt knowing they were there. 

After coming out of surgery. Mom put a flower in my hair. 

Ashley and I that night

My hospital stay I will never forget. I had amazing nurses and doctors, and in my opinion, the best surgeon in the world. I had tubes coming out of my belly, and my oxygen dropped very low a few times. Every time I got up to go to the bathroom, I had to drag all of the machines along and carried the long tubes that were sticking out of me, gross I know. The second night we had a medicine mishap that left me violently throwing up, if you can imagine how that felt after having your chest split. 

I'll never forget the first nurse I had, her name was Nora. She was the nurse my whole first day after surgery. I talked to her about God, we had a beautiful conversation about faith and we sang hymns together. She said "I have never done this before but can I hug you? You are full of so much life and light for Jesus." To me, that was so beautiful to hear that I was still shining for Jesus less than 24 hours after being (as according to the guy from the blood lab) "split open like a thanksgiving turkey." I also had a nurse Kristina, who wore a flower in her hair one day because I had always had one in mine =)

I stayed in the hospital for 5 days and had a lot of lovely visitors, my family was always there. My grandpa was even there and he was having brain surgery a week later. He is doing great, Praise God. I came home on my sisters birthday where I laid on the couch for about a week. Of course getting up several times to move around, do breathing exercises, go to the bathroom etc. 

My grandma from South Carolina was here for 2 weeks to take care of me as mom and dad had to go to work and Ashley was at school. I simply could have not done it without her!! Shout out to you Grandma Chris!! Thank you again and love you!!

Nathan has also been amazingly wonderful. He has been very understanding, caring and helpful, even when I may have been in pain, crabby, tired or just short on patience. 

It has been one month from my surgery (tuesday, tomorrow). I am getting better and better every day. My ribs, sternum and lungs are all healing as they should be, my x-rays looked great and my incision is healing as well. 

Part of my scar, about 4 more inches down towards my tummy. You can still see bruising

Just takin it one day at a time (tank-top not bra)

This is an experience I will never forget, and one that I would not change for the world. It was not "FUN" by any means, but it made me appreciate life even more than I already do. 

Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and continued support. I love you all more than words can even describe. Don't ever forget that nothing is impossible with God. 

Phillipians 4:13 - I CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength 

- <3 Alyssa