My official surgery date is set for May 8th at 8:30 am at Southdale hospital in Edina MN. My tumor will be removed that day, along with my thymus gland. It will then be tested for cancer. Many people ask me if I am scared. My answer continues to be no. I have absolutely no reason to be afraid because all of my trust is in the Lord. He has a plan for me, and anything that happens is all in his hands. I trust completely in him, and whatever happens is in his control. I do at times get nervous, but then I pray for reassurance, and hope. God has given me so much strength throughout my last 5 years with this disease, it continues to amaze me. Even though somedays physically I have been too weak to walk, get dressed on my own, and even brush my hair without help, I have felt so strong through my God. I look completely to him to get me through the weakest of my days.
I thank all of you for the love and support. The kind words are so humbling. I appreciate your prayers. God bless every single one of you <3 Also I want to say a special thank you to those of you who tell me time and time again that you think I am strong. It means a lot to hear that. I get all of my strength from God. He is the reason I am strong, the reason I am happy through the scariest time of my life, the reason I continue to have hope on hopeless days, and the reason I believe. A very special friend of mine posted on her wall the other day the words "My God is stronger than the grave." These are the words from one of my favorite songs. God absolutely stronger than anything. With him, we all are as well. With God, we can face any mountain or trial with confidence.
I thank you all again from the bottom of my heart for every prayer, every kind word, and every reassuring hug. I love you all so much! God bless <3
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
To have the words to say
First of all, yes I know it has been very long, and yes I know Nathan tells me I often start my blog posts this way, but this has been the longest I have ever gone without posting. I have opened my blog several times, and started to type, but just never had the words to say.
Ill start with Spring Break. It was an absolutely amazing time. I got to see my friends and family. I spent time with the most special person in the world to me, my sister Ashley. She is my everything. I had a Mary Kay party which was very fun, I went on a date with Nathan, and a double date with our best friends. The last thing was one of my very favorite parts, my doctors appointment, which leads me to my next thought.
The last weekday of my spring break, which was Friday, I had my doctors appointment with my Neurologist. This appointment was to see if I would need steroid treatments for my lungs before surgery because with my disease, my lungs are weak, and may not tolerate surgery well. My neurologist talked to my surgeon and they decided that my lungs are strong enough for surgery without the steroids!! Praise God!! Steroids can have harmful side effects. I am just so unbelievably blessed. I could not possibly love life any more than I do. I feel like I may be the happiest person alive!! =)
I thank all of you for reading my blog, I love all of you so much!! I have been so busy, I promise I will update more during summer, since I will have nothing but time from being laid up. I am looking forward to that time as I will be able to get further in my book "Strength Through Jesus" about going through life with a diagnosed disease. I am also looking forward to all of the uninterrupted time I will get to spend with God. This experience has helped me continue to grow. Yes it has been the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, but I would not change one single minute of it. This journey has completely changed my life. I have learned to live every single moment for Jesus Christ, and to me that is worth it all.
Love you all, God bless you, and enjoy this beautiful weather and these amazing days in God's creation!!!!
P.S. If you want to, leave me a comment and let me know you were here! =) it's nice to know who reads my blog so I can thank you personally. God bless you!!!! <3
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Grateful
This week has been really tough because of midterms, so to my grandma's, I apologize for not posting.
Lately, I have been having a really hard time gripping the harsh reality of the long term effects of my disease, and all of the risks that surgery will contain in a few short months. I pray to God every day that I do not dwell on those horrible things, as he has them all under control. I have been talking to people from my Myasthenia Gravis support group, and they have all said that the surgery was excruciating, and your sternum will pop for a few months and you may hear the wires crunching, but in the long run, it was the best decision they have made was to have surgery as it improved their quality of life. I however do not have a choice as whether or not to have surgery as I have a growing tumor in my chest cavity. It will all be okay, I have faith in God.
Sorry, that was sort of my little venting session.
I am eternally grateful for the absolutely amazing support I have gotten from my wonderful friends here in Winona. They have kept me sane. My bible study girls have been here for me and praying for me which has been so amazing. I want to take a minute to thank those of you who have been praying for me this week especially. I am not going to name anyone as I am afraid I would miss someone. You are all so wonderful. It has been really stressful with midterms, as stress escalates my disease, and makes it worse and harder to deal with. The support system I have, brings me to tears almost every time I think about it. I constantly have people telling me how strong I am, how they are praying for me, and how they look up to me. That to me is constantly amazing. I see people all over campus wearing my support bracelets, and about brings the tears every time. Seeing that support and feeling it, I cannot put into words. And then on top of that I have my biggest supporters which are my family. My mom who has never ever given up on me or stopped believing in me, my dad and the rest of my family. Also Nathan. He has been by my side for almost three years now and has held my hand through every single thing and has loved me regardless of what I was going through. His family has been wonderful as well. I am eternally grateful. Lastly, to the amazing RA's of Sheehan, who are always here for me when I need them most, especially Megan, who has been the older sister I prayed for when I was little. Calli, who always tells me how sweet I am and gives the greatest hugs. Jessica, who can make me smile even when tears are running down my cheeks, and I go in her room for one thing and then we talk for four hours. Briana, who listens to me no matter what, always knows what to say and always encourages me. And of course Autumn who always tells me she is so excited to see me walking, and how happy for me she is =) They have all been soo wonderful!!
I am so unbelivably blessed, I can hardly put it into words how grateful I am, and how blessed I am by God. He just keeps revealing wonderful things to me. I could not possibly love life any more than I do now. Thank you again everyone for all of you prayers. God bless every single one of you. I love you all so much!! xoxo
Alyssa <3
Lately, I have been having a really hard time gripping the harsh reality of the long term effects of my disease, and all of the risks that surgery will contain in a few short months. I pray to God every day that I do not dwell on those horrible things, as he has them all under control. I have been talking to people from my Myasthenia Gravis support group, and they have all said that the surgery was excruciating, and your sternum will pop for a few months and you may hear the wires crunching, but in the long run, it was the best decision they have made was to have surgery as it improved their quality of life. I however do not have a choice as whether or not to have surgery as I have a growing tumor in my chest cavity. It will all be okay, I have faith in God.
Sorry, that was sort of my little venting session.
I am eternally grateful for the absolutely amazing support I have gotten from my wonderful friends here in Winona. They have kept me sane. My bible study girls have been here for me and praying for me which has been so amazing. I want to take a minute to thank those of you who have been praying for me this week especially. I am not going to name anyone as I am afraid I would miss someone. You are all so wonderful. It has been really stressful with midterms, as stress escalates my disease, and makes it worse and harder to deal with. The support system I have, brings me to tears almost every time I think about it. I constantly have people telling me how strong I am, how they are praying for me, and how they look up to me. That to me is constantly amazing. I see people all over campus wearing my support bracelets, and about brings the tears every time. Seeing that support and feeling it, I cannot put into words. And then on top of that I have my biggest supporters which are my family. My mom who has never ever given up on me or stopped believing in me, my dad and the rest of my family. Also Nathan. He has been by my side for almost three years now and has held my hand through every single thing and has loved me regardless of what I was going through. His family has been wonderful as well. I am eternally grateful. Lastly, to the amazing RA's of Sheehan, who are always here for me when I need them most, especially Megan, who has been the older sister I prayed for when I was little. Calli, who always tells me how sweet I am and gives the greatest hugs. Jessica, who can make me smile even when tears are running down my cheeks, and I go in her room for one thing and then we talk for four hours. Briana, who listens to me no matter what, always knows what to say and always encourages me. And of course Autumn who always tells me she is so excited to see me walking, and how happy for me she is =) They have all been soo wonderful!!
I am so unbelivably blessed, I can hardly put it into words how grateful I am, and how blessed I am by God. He just keeps revealing wonderful things to me. I could not possibly love life any more than I do now. Thank you again everyone for all of you prayers. God bless every single one of you. I love you all so much!! xoxo
Alyssa <3
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