The new normal

It has been a week since one of the most beautiful girls in my life danced up to Jesus. Kari was insanely beautiful, smart, loving, wonderful and just about every other positive word you can imagine, that was our Kari. She will forever be remembered for her beautiful smile, laugh and acceptingness of others. She had one of the brightest spirits of anyone I know. Everyone who knew her, loved her. Kari not a day goes by when I do not think of you at least 10 times. I pray right now that your family is finding peace in knowing that you are watching over them. I love you sweet Kare Bear.

   

Being in Winona has been very tough this week as I have had to leave all of my friends who are together at home and all have each other, where I am here without them. I certainly am not alone though because I have my amazing heavenly father, my wonderful Winona friends who have been extremely supportive in this, and of course kare bear watching over me. Sometimes I swear I can actually feel her with me. I can still hear her laugh in my head and that makes me smile. 

With classes starting tomorrow, so does the so called "new normal." I am trying my hardest to be happy and excited, but with all that has happened this week it has been hard. I just pray that God will guide me in whatever direction he wants to go. 

For all Kari's friends who are reading this, you guys are absolutely amazing, I couldn't believe how many came to her service. I know she was smiling down when she saw just how many people cared. God bless you all and I pray for you guys everyday as school will start soon.

The major lesson I have learned this week is to never ever forget to tell someone just how much you love them, because you never know when you're not going to have another chance. God bless you all and be with you this week. Smile because there is a new bright angel smiling down on you. We actually have 4 new angels and all from Lakeville. This week was a tough week for our town. Just remember how sacred life is. We all have different amounts of time on this earth. Always be ready for God. 

                                                                    Lakeville Angels

God bless

<3 Alyssa

Here Goes Nothing

Well, insomnia strikes again. Okay maybe I am just excited for my date with Nathan tomorrow and can't sleep. I really don't know when I'll have time to do another blog post before school starts in three days, so I figured I would just write one now while my eyes shoot open every time I try to lay down. =)

Yes I do move back to school in three days, crazy I know. There are a lot of mixed emotions when I think about going back to school. As excited as I am to see my friends and be independent again, it makes me a little sad at the thought of leaving my mom and sister as I have gotten so used to seeing them again. This year is going to be filled with exciting new things. I will hopefully be getting a job when I get down there, I have an internship and the elementary school, I will be co-leading a Bible study, and oh yeah the reason I am there! School!! There will be lots of studying going on. This  year I am really going to need to learn how to balance everything. Now if you have known me since I was little you'll know that I was pretty much born without any sort of coordination whatsoever, so any aspect of balance, even the literal meaning, comes hard to me. Now lets try to actually apply it to life. Yeah, that might be interesting. That is where I give it all to God. I know that he is sending me back to Winona State again this year for a reason, and as busy as I may be, it will all be to honor and glorify God.

Great News!!! I got an internship already for next summer!! God is so good =) He always provides for our needs if we completely believe and trust in him. 

Psalm 37:5 - Commit everything to the Lord, trust him and he will help you. 

I really am looking forward to this year as overwhelming as it will be. Last year was a complete eye opener. I went through a lot of changes this summer with my surgery and having ample amounts of time to reflect. Plus it will be my first year in college without a thymus gland!! (random fact, as you don't need your thymus gland to live a normal life, but I thought it was exciting). So here I go, getting ready to continue this chapter in life with God as my guide. I hope to be able to have a lot of really cool experiences in faith this year that I will be able to share <3 As for now, I go to college being ready to be used by God for whatever he has planned for me. 

Love you all so much <3

God Bless

Tears are Okay.

This is a different kind of post. I never try to sound like I am playing the "why me" card because that certainly is never the intention, very rarely do I feel sorry for myself. I try to never let it get to that because I know God is bringing me through this for a reason. With a progressive disease, at times it's hard not to feel discouraged in a society where everyone expects the highest of you, and expects strength because you have been so strong before. These last few days have been hard, as I have noticed increasing muscle weakness. I try not to get discouraged and stay positive. I am still on the lowest dose of medication so I have a long way to go before there is nothing left that can be done, and I am not in need of any weekly IV treatments yet. I am trusting in God that if it is his will, I will never have to get to that point. God has gotten me this far so I know he will just keep on providing. Whatever happens is all completely according to his plan and I have the highest amount of faith.

I did not write this post so that others will feel sorry for me. Please don't because I don't at all. This is the life I have been given for a very special reason. I may never know what that reason is, but this life comes with many blessings. Even though somedays I can hardly get out of bed, I have an amazing support system and most importantly I get to tell others about the love God has for them. The reason I did write this post is because I have had many people tell me recently that I am so strong, and I thank you all for that from the bottom of my heart, it means a lot and I give all the glory to God, but I do have bad days. Days where I get discouraged, feel like giving up, and hating everything about what I have been given. Those are the days where I draw closest to God. The days I need to realize all of the things I do have. Anyone who has a disease, or has had something bad happen to them will occasionally feel like life sucks. We all do sometimes. I look at those days as my "reality check" days. Sometimes I get a little too comfortable when things are going well and forget to give every single ounce of glory to God. The bad days are the days when I get my focus back on the one who's truly important.

One of my greatest friends reminded me lately that it IS okay to cry. We are only human. Life gets hard sometimes, but those are the times God is closest. It seems hard to believe because sometimes those are the days we feel he is the farthest away. He isn't, he's right there waiting for you to reach out to him.
One of my very favorite quotes is by Gordon B. Hinckley, "When life gets too hard to stand, kneel." Kneel and pray to our loving father who will raise you back up.


I love you all so much. Again, I don't ever want anyone to feel sorry for me, this is the life I was given and yes at times its hard, but I would not change it for the world.

God bless

-
Alyssa

This life is.

Wow does time ever fly. Summer is almost over, and school starts in three weeks!! As I sit here tonight blasting worship music (a daily occurrence), I am reflecting on my summer. It has been a challenging, scary but simply amazing one. I think I have learned more this summer than I have in a long time. About myself that is. I know, summer time is supposed to be a break from learning right? Well not this one. God has shown me many things. I have learned what it really truly means to put all my faith and trust in him. That is exactly what I intend to do this year as I will face many obstacles ahead. I was talking to one of my best friends today and she said this year is going to be a "roller coaster." Yes it probably will be, but with God all around me, its going to be the ride of my life as I let him use me for what he wants to and I will allow him to fully work through me. It may be a roller coaster, but we serve an amazing God who never fails through the ups OR the downs. It's not always easy but everything that happens is always according to God's plan. I have learned from every single hard time, every challenge and every trial. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said "I gain strength, courage and confidence by every tough experience."

This year I am definitely looking forward to growing more in my faith, making lots of new  and being able to bring them to church and lead them to God.

“Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.’ But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? Romans 10:13-15 

I pray that through the trials in my life, I can help others realize that I get through it simply by the grace of God. He is the reason I am still here and the reason I live this life. 

This life is....

Challenging, scary at times, unknown, beautiful, and WORTH IT! I would not change one thing I have gone through because every single thing has brought me that much closer to God. It is worth it. Being able to tell others about his love, there is nothing better. In just a few short weeks I'll return to Winona State, and I intend to do just that, tell others about 

God's love. <3

God bless

 I love each and every one of  you